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1988-07-31
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The Dentrassi Galley
(Dentrassi: The best cooks and the best drinks mixers
in the Galaxy)
by
Lynn Colemann
Being an Earth-bound closet Dentrassi can be trying at times. Like
wanting to cook Stuffed Womp-rat, and there's no womp-rats available. Or
Ploomek Soup and no ploomeks. But one does with what one has. Which is
what this column is all about.
All recipes are modified to use Earth-available ingredients. Standard
Earth measurements, especially those of the United States, are used
throughout.
If you have any requests, suggestions, recipes etc., that you'd like
to see, please send a letter to:
Radstock Press
P.O. Box 883
Burbank, CA 91503-0883
Attn: Dentrassi Galley/Lynn Colemann
I'll do what I can to track down and test on my guinea pigs - uh,
family - any recipes you request. If, for instance, you want to see a
recipe for a Pan Galactic Gargle-Blaster, I'll do what I can to find and
adapt such a recipe. (However, due to its toxicity, a Pan Galactic
Gargle-Blaster is one recipe I would prefer not to adapt.)
Stuffed Womp-rat
with Hyler Cakes
Despite the sound of the name of this recipe,
you don't stuff the entire womp-rat. They are
rather large - about the size of an Earth cow.
That is why beef is being substituted for womp-rat
steak.
Desert planets like Tatooine don't usually
support plants like rice which require lots of
water. But hydroponic farming provides an
alternative. The grain hyler is similar to rice,
so rice is used in this adaptation. The spices
are pure Earth-style, with no real Tatooine
counterpart, but they make the dish taste good.
3/4" thick round steak (about 1 1/2 lb)
1 1/2 cup rice (uncooked)
3 cups water
1 onion, sliced
4 eggs
basil and/or tarragon
cinnamon
salt and pepper
sugar
Bring water to boil. Add rice, turn heat as
low as possible, cover pot and ignore for 15
minutes. Meanwhile, section meat where it joins
together. Cut into smaller pieces if needed.
With a sharp knife, make a pocket in each piece.
Cut fat from meat, cut in small pieces, put in
skillet over medium heat. When rice is finished
cooking, take about a cup or so and put it in a
bowl. Add basil and/or tarragon to taste. Season
with salt and pepper. Stuff the meat pockets with
this seasoned rice, closing with toothpicks.
Brown on all sides in the rendered fat, reduce
heat, cover with sliced onions. Cover skillet.
Take remaining rice and add eggs, sugar and
cinnamon to it. Heat a griddle or fry pan and
lightly grease. Spoon rice mixture onto pan and
flatten, making cakes about 3-4 inches across.
Cook each side until lightly browned. Serve with
any vegetable.
Womp-rat was easy to substitute for, but I went through all sorts of
problems trying to come up with a good substitute for ploomek soup.
If you try and get the color naturally, pumpkin is a natural, and
traditional pumpkin pie spices are reminiscent of ploomek soup spicing.
Unfortunately, my family, who are the guinea pigs for my gastronomical
experiments, ate only a few bites before they collectively turned their
noses up at it. Co-editor Chrystal loved it, but then, she's a pumpkin
freak.
The following went over much better.
Ploomek Soup
As ploomeks are a rather bland (though
colorful) vegetable, potatoes are a reasonable
substitute, and food coloring takes care of the
visual properties. The following will serve four
(or one bottomless pit kid). It can be easily
enlarged for larger groups. (Or so that others
besides the bottomless pit kid can eat.)
4 medium potatoes
1 onion
1 cup water
milk
3 tablespoons butter or margarine
2 tablespoons flour
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
red & yellow food color
1 cup grated cheddar cheese
Peel and chop the potatoes and onion. Place
in pot with water. Salt as needed. Cook until
tender. Mash or run through a blender or food
processor until smooth. (If you mash it, it will
be somewhat lumpy). Add milk to make 5 cups. In
a separate saucepan, melt the butter or margarine,
stir in flour and spices. Add butter mixture to
the soup, cook over medium heat until thickened.
Add food coloring (two parts yellow to one part
red) until the proper color is attained. Add
cheese and stir until melted.
Serve in bowls, garnish with additional
grated cheese if desired.
A beverage that is warming in the morning and on cold days comes from
Pern: Klah. Presumably this started out as coffee when the colonists left
Earth, but due to one thing and another, they ended up using native plants.
This uniquely spiced tea should be a near equivalent.
Klah
2 teabags (regular black or orange pekoe)
rind of 1/2 orange
1 stick cinnamon
juice of 1 orange
Wrap orange rind and cinnamon stick in cheese
cloth bag. Place in teapot with teabags. Pour
boiling water over bags and let steep for five
minutes. Meanwhile, squeeze orange juice into
four mugs. Add tea to mugs and sweeten with honey
if desired.
For those on the run, here is a make-ahead
recipe for:
Instant Klah
1 cup instant tea
1 cup orange breakfast drink
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
Mix together thoroughly, and store in an
airtight container.
Add one teaspoon to a mug of boiling water,
more or less to taste, to serve.
The chef at Milliways (the Restaurant at the End of the Universe) has
a bizarre sense of humor. The desserts prepared are so rich, so sweet, so
... much, and due to the nature of Milliways, after you eat them and get
sick, you can go back and change your mind about eating them in the first
place. We herewith present a sample.
Time-warp Sundae
1 scoop each 12 different flavors ice cream
2 bananas
1 pint strawberries
Nuts
Whipped cream
Flavored toppings
etc, etc, etc.
Build the most elaborate, piled up sundae you
can imagine. If you eat it by yourself, you will
get sick. Only if you are at Milliways will you
be able to go back and change your mind. Better
share it if you are not at Milliways.
That's it for this issue. Remember, send your suggestions, comments,
etc. for what you'd like to see in future columns. Who knows, maybe
somewhere down the line we'll have a special issue of the collected
Dentrassi!
* * * * * * *